Meaghan and I went to the grocery store this weekend, and I stopped to look at the Jif Peanut Butter. I was completely taken aback by the variety of Jif PB. No, not the various brands, etc. Just the amount of Jif varieties. And I’m not even going to turn this into a creamy vs. crunchy thing, because that’s like a whole new war on terror. (Although if you really want to know, I prefer creamy.) There were at least 4 different types of Jif Peanut Butter at our grocery store.

No, I want to talk about food labels, and how the laws in this county about food labelling are complete bullsh*t. Meaghan does food product labelling as part of her job, and she is far more knowledgable than I about what you can and cannot say on a label. For example, she is very well versed on what that asterisk is required, indicating, “Please see nutritional information for details.” What I saw was 3 different types of PB. You tell me what you would expect if you saw this on your store shelves.

First, we have our traditional Jif Creamy PB. This our base product, from which we will compare all other variants of Jif brand PB. This has been a staple in the Meyer household for as long as I can remember. This is delicious. This is the stuff that my mom always bought. This is the stuff I have always bought.

Second, we have Reduced Fat Jif Creamy PB. This product has 25% less fat than tradition PB. That should be a big deal since PB is made by creaming the oil from roasted peanuts.

Third, we have Simply Jif Creamy PB. Simply Jif has less sodium (with no front label definition of what “less” means) and 33% less sugar.

And that’s it. Actually, that’s not it at all. Check out the Jif products page to see even more varieties of Jif peanut butter. Crazy, isn’t it?

Now check out the nutritional labels. They all have 190 calories per 2 tbsp serving. Yes, I know that Jif isn’t doing anything illegal. Yes, I know that Jif is following all appropriate food labelling laws. Here’s the problem: I, the consumer, have an implicit understanding of sugar, fat, and expected calorie counts.

You know, I normally don’t like the government being involved in my food, and this isn’t about that. And I’m certainly not crying for more government regulation of food labels. I can’t even claim that Jif is lying to me. What I want is corporate responsibility. And this, Jif, is just plain irresponsible. What I would love to see, and probably never will in my lifetime, is food labels that make sense to people instead of the food manufacturers or lawyers who work for them. And I certainly don’t want the government to regulate what I can and cannot buy. It’s ridiculous that I can’t buy unpasteurized cheese in this county. As long as I know what I’m buying, and it’s appropriately labelled as such, let me buy it.

In the end, this is just something else for me to be upset about. I won’t stop shopping at that particular grocery store, and I won’t stop buying Jif. The only thing corporations listen to is money, so I’m not even making a statement to them.